Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Do dogs feel love?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

Why does my vagina always itch so badly after my periods?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Can CCTV cameras be integrated with other sensor technologies for enhanced security solutions? If so, how?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What would you change in Rings of Power?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How would you spank me if I had been sent home from a school camp because of my poor behavior?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Can you share a picture of your favorite outfit and explain why you love it?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Who's your celebrity crush?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is the most gay experience with your dad?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

How can we understand the mind of a Trump supporter?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

I can read

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What timeless pieces do you believe every wardrobe should possess?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I can count

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t cotton to rapists